she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize