I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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