he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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