This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize