Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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