someone owes me an orgasm
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.