He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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