Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize