Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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