I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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