): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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