I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
