Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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