Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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