Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
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He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?