Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize