Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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