Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize