I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
