sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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