So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
