i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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