You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
