it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
soo... how was my night?
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