textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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