Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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