I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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