god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize