dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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