hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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