That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
