i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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