Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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