like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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