I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
