I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
operation have a gay friend backfired
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
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He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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