Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize