Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You are a genius and a whore.