Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship