Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?