new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
