Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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