His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
