a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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