I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
