Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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