I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
did you just send me my own nude
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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