just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works