I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"