we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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