it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.