He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
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Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?