woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.