she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers