dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize